Hand curved gently over my womb, I wonder at all the ways I have tried to control, tame, or reject the wild side of me. With intention, I shut my eyes and bring my awareness to my womb space.
This space between our solar plexus chakras and our root chakras acts as our energetic junk drawer, collecting and holding on to all the unprocessed emotions and experiences we go through in our lives. From this energetic space, our reality is ‘birthed’ as new experiences.
When this space is chock full of dense, stagnant, and shadowy aspects of ourselves, we create a cycle of experiences that we find unpleasant or painful until we can resolve and release the unprocessed gunk clogging our system.
The Feminine is powerful in every aspect, whether we are talking about the experience of an embodied feminine being or the emotions that have long been devalued and controlled.
Each expression of something that has been associated with ‘the feminine’ (nature, surrender, vulnerability, creativity, sensuality, & emotions, just to name a few) holds powerful keys to healing and unlocking new aspects of ourselves, the universe, and our creator.
I wonder why this powerful aspect of ourselves has become so taboo? Why did we begin to let this sensual, dynamic, wise, and creative aspect of ourselves go? I wonder when it happened in my own life: when did the intellectual mind take precedent over the feeling being?
Our Shadow work journey to the center of our being and into all the things that have been cast out and ignored, is a journey to deepen and heal our relationship to the feminine aspect of ourselves.
Our emotional bodies have long been ignored, suppressed, and devalued. We have been indoctrinated into believing that having any emotion beside ‘happy’ is hysterics and meant to be ignored or fixed.
I have a confession to make: getting in touch with the divine feminine side has been one of the most difficult and rewarding journeys I have ever embarked upon.
I had naively thought that I could just think my way to a more sensual and emotionally mature experience instead of having to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and feel them.
I was called to clear out my womb space.
During the meditation, I was overcome with tiredness and grief at constantly critiquing my body. I would have rather journaled about how this came from my mother’s lack of body positivity, being bullied growing up, or any number of other reasons.
Instead, I was guided to be present with the emotions, to let myself feel just how much it hurt to constantly judge myself as not good enough. The grief and regret I felt over spending so much time betraying myself in the name of impossible beauty standards was almost too much to bear.
I had hidden my vast emotional expression behind a steel wall of analysis paralysis, free floating anxiety, and over intellectualization. Instead of feeling my feelings, I would use food as a way to express and experience my emotions: if I was happy, I could give myself a ‘treat,’ and if I was angry, or sad, I could use food as a comfort and distraction.
I found the same pattern hidden in my over consumption of television, movies, things & people on the internet, books, social media. Any where I could use something external to distract and numb myself from the internal world.
I had spent so much time detangling my complicated relationship to myself, unearthing the limiting beliefs and putting words to the wordless assumptions and lessons around being an emotional (sensitive? Female? Normal human?) being growing up that I had forgotten was only part of the process.
I had to take the next step of feeling the feelings that the distractions were covering up.
I was invited by the Divine Feminine presence to see that it didn’t help me to try to continue to think around the emotions once I had seen how I had been taught to use external things as an emotional suppressor.
Once I saw how controlling those emotions rather than allowing myself to be present with them had kept me in a cycle of shaming, blame. and guilt I was empowered to spend more time consciously checking in with what I was feeling instead of mindlessly avoiding my emotions in all the wrong ways and then feeling guilty and shameful about it.
Little did I know back then that doing that simple meditation, listening to the guidance of the Divine Feminine around how I nourished myself, and committing to sitting with my emotions rather than stuffing them down would enable me to shift my relationship with myself and begin to truly feel the love and acceptance that I craved.
Once I began to allow myself to feel my feelings, put them into words, and accept all of myself that I began to see my body begin to shift. I began to attract more of the experiences I had been wanting to have in my life, business, and relationship without any extra effort or attention on my part.
It is that kind of power that the Divine Feminine has. We each have access to that creative power source within us that can shift the way we approach the obstacles, patterns, and limiting beliefs, which then has a domino effect on other areas of our lives.
This is the power that is hidden within our shadows and the things we have been taught to fear, reject, and disown – just like the power, magic, and desire of the feminine.
From this space between our navel and our root, our center, we have the power to create entire worlds. We have the ability to shift our experience into one of deep and everlasting love and to clear out the energy that no longer serves our highest expression.
Honor your inner Creatrix and the generative power of the feminine by taking a few moments to tap into your womb space. What are you holding in there: judgement, guilt, shame, fear, resentment?
What is still tying you to a past that is keeping you playing small, doubting your purpose and gifts?
It is time to let go of the things that keep you from evolving into your most authentic self and sharing that beautiful, unique gift with the world.
You have the power to create whole lives and you deserve to see your deepest dreams and desires fulfilled.
Complete your mini-intention setting ritual with powerful I AM statements to say quietly to yourself as you bathe in the moon’s light.
“I AM” is the most powerful word combination out there. You will not find a more powerful spell.
Choose words, phrases, and ideas that uplift you and capture the essence of your true self.
For example,
I AM…. Enough
I AM….. Powerful
I AM…… Whole
I AM…. Love
I truly wish for these intentions to blossom in your life and create gardens full of life where once there was a desert.
You are loved.
Love first, Love always,
Ae.