Ah, September!
I’ve missed this strange mix of sheer joy at sweater weather and pumpkin spice everything mixed with a dash of depression and existential dread known as Seasonal Affective Disorder.
It makes for a very particular flavor to this existence that I can’t quite find elsewhere.
This month is all about saying YES to what nourishes your soul, supports your expansion, and weaving your story one thread at a time without.
The Offering
Beloved Soul, for a very long time, you have learned how to be through the lens of fear.
You have shaped your Self by the expectations of others: parents, authority figures, peers, the nameless strangers we compare ourselves to.
Unconsciously, you have used others as a way to identify Self: what is important, what matters, what to pay attention to, what to ignore or destroy; even what, who, how to love.
We seek first to make sure the answers that we offer won’t upset anyone before we seek to be understood or known for what we have to say.
We learn to do this as children for survival and because, as children, all we have to go off of is what the adults around us teach us.
We want to fit in, be part of the tribe, to be loved. And we need to learn everything we can about how the world works. Anything less would mean certain death for a baby or child.
This is the way that all humans learn at first. But in learning to shape our personalities, desires, and expression around what is accepted in our family of origin, we cut off and hide large portions of our Authentic Selves.
This leaves us feeling unexpressed, unfulfilled, and yearning for something more.
Beloved Soul, I know you feel it deep in your heart: that yearning for something deeper and more meaningful in your career, relationships, and life.
You yearn for an end to the painful lessons of life and are ready for a new way to grow, experience, and learn. You are ready to learn through love.
The Universe, the Higher Consciousness is reaching out for you now and offering you a new way to experience yourself and relate to others. A new perspective and yearning for a new way of Being is awakening deep within.
This is a space of self love, trust, and relationship. It is a space of putting down the armor you have covered your heart with and revealing the soft, vulnerable, truth.
As you shift from learning from fear (fear of failure, or success, of abandonment, of the unknown), and living in an unconscious pattern of protecting yourself from past hurts, you will feel off-kilter at first.
Let yourself feel it! It will feel so weird at first to lean out of all the expectations and false programming and into an authentic version of your unique expression. Especially as you create new habits and ways of being in the world!
It will feel awkward and it wont come naturally at first to trust your intuition or that you are always guided and loved unconditionally by a larger consciousness. You haven’t been taught how to do so!
As you cut the ties that bind you to false stories about who you have to be, or what you have to do, in order to have the things you want to have in your life, you’ll notice your fears popping up to say hello!
These are threads to the old narratives that no longer have the power to define you. Let them go!
Mother Spider is here to tutor you in weaving a new fate for yourself, a new story that follows the patterns that you want to create in your life.
Rather than follow the same patterns that have been passed down to you through the ages, it is time to create a new pattern of your own choosing. Rather than follow the same old Hero’s Journey template that has been given to you, it is time to write a new tale.
Create space to nourish your soul this month.
What moves you to a sense of awe at being alive?
Give yourself more of that.
Thank you for this lovely reminder to create a space that feels right for us. I get doubts sometimes that what I am doing will fail because it's what I want instead of what others want - but at the end of the day I want to be myself, be authentic, and do what I do best.